Father-in-law threw away his marriage

Dear Pastor,

I have an issue here and I need your suggestion. I am a pastor, but I am not deeply in counselling as you are.

In any case, this has to do with an in-law and I don't want to be accused of taking sides. So I would like to tell you what's going on and give me your advice.

My father-in-law is a senior citizen, and he and his wife were married for many years. I used to admire the way they lived. They have done very well financially. But I would say that a devil got into this man and he got involved with another woman. His wife begged him to stop the foolishness. I also spoke to him. Suddenly, he was finding many faults with his wife. He said she wasn't doing this and she wasn't doing that and she was miserable and his list of complaints was very long. So, she divorced him. But he said after the divorce that he was a very happy man, so he was all over the place with his girlfriend. My in-laws had children who love the both of them. They did not want to see them pull apart but it happened.

His wife left him in the big four-bedroom house and she bought a beautiful townhouse and furnished it. She left him in the matrimonial home. She didn't take out any furniture and she is not prepared to sell the house. He is still living there. He wants the house to be sold but she does not agree. He is not broke but he has wasted so much of his money on women that unless the house is sold, and he gets his share, he will not be in a position to buy another place. He has a stable girlfriend now and she wants him to marry her. I have told his ex-wife that she should not continue to insist that the house should not be sold. She said that most of the money that was spent to buy the house came from her and he wants the house to be for the children.

My wife told me that their mother is only punishing their father because she hates his woman. Their mother does not want another woman to live at the house. Mark you, the man is not broke, but he does not have enough money to purchase another home with cash and he is too old to get a mortgage unless one of his children joins with him. None of them will do that because of his new woman. I am not talking about a young man; this man is 75 years old. My wife's name is on one of his accounts, but my father-in-law's woman does not know that. I want to live in harmony with his ex-wife, so I have stopped telling her that she should agree to sell the home and divide the proceeds between herself and him. His girlfriend is 72 and she is anxious for them to get married and move out of the house and rent another place. Please tell me what I should be telling this couple to do.

A.T.

Dear A.T.,

Kindly suggest to your wife's father that he should take the matter to court and have a lawyer represent him.

The court will decide what should be done with the house. Perhaps your wife's mother is determined to punish him for having numerous affairs and for causing her to divorce him. She is blaming him for their divorce. She would hate to know that a new woman is inheriting so much of what she has worked hard for. But a lawyer can handle this matter in court and each of them will receive what they deserve.

I hope that this man would seek advice before he goes back into another marriage. You can tell him that he should have his woman sign a prenuptial agreement before he marries again.

Pastor