Ready to tie off but hubby wants more children

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff, it is a pleasure writing to you. I have been reading your column for a long time.

It is very helpful. I like how you are very precise. You are a no-nonsense man. I have a daughter and a son. I am 30 years old and living with the father of my children. He wants us to try and have another child, but I do not want more. We are struggling to support these children, but he is always quoting the Bible saying "children are heritage and a man who has many children is blessed." I am not saying that a man who has many children is not blessed, but such a man should have the means to support many children.

My father has seven children, but I know that there were times when he found it very difficult to send all of us to school. I know there were times when my mother complained and said how hard life was with her. Anyhow, all of us are grown, but some have done better than others. One of my brothers has played the fool. He got married to a lovely lady, but he went outside of the marriage and has three children with three different women. One of the women was married. People say that he shouldn't have owned the child, but he did because he said that he should not have gone to her. His wife did not fight him. His children, including the one who he has with the married women are doing well.

I do not know if you support women who stop themselves from having children, but I am asking you to tell me if I would be committing sin by asking my doctor to tie me off. As I said, my husband would love to have more children, but I do not want more and he has finally agreed that if I do not, he will not punish me by getting me pregnant again. My husband is a great lover of sex. He just loves sex. Sometimes when he and I are having sex, he will do it for a whole hour and not get tired. I told him he is going to wreck his body, but he said it would have been wrecked already, so I told him that I am going to stop feeding him so well. He makes a joke about it, but I love him. I will always give him his nutritious food. My grandmother told me that her husband was like that. But she said she never held back from him. She used to just allow him to go on while she took it easy until he fell asleep.

My main reason for writing to you is to ask you if doing the tubal ligation operation is wrong.

J.T.

Dear J.T.,

I do not wish to mislead you in any way. I do not see in the Bible that the tubal ligation is a sin.

I would think that to have children and be unable to support them well is the sin. My position as a counsellor is that a couple should have as many children as they can adequately support and no more. Your husband would love to father more children. He has the desire to have more, but he does not have the means to support them. So I am glad that he has agreed to allow you to do the tubal ligation operation.

I wish the both of you well.

Pastor