My wife only wants to do missionary in bed

Dear Pastor,

I am a Christian. I declare to you that I am a true Christian, but I was a bad boy on the street.

When I say I was a bad boy, I mean I had many girls. They followed me because I sold ganja, so I always had money. I did not rob anybody. All who worked for me got paid. That is the way I still operate. I went to a tent crusade and I heard the gospel, and after the third night I got baptised.

One of the girls who was with me told me that I shouldn't go forward when the altar call was made, but I went forward. When I got back to my seat, she was gone. She left with the bag of money I had with me and my cell phone. This was one of my girlfriends. About a week later, she went to my house and cleaned it out. I was determined that I had to find her, but my grandmother told me to leave her alone. I had just bought a new bed and a new stove and she took everything.

I changed my life and I got a job. I dealt with ganja but I didn't smoke it. I met a young woman at the church. We got married. We did not have sex before we got married. Even when I tried to have sex with her, she refused and threatened to break up the relationship. I had to rely on myself to receive pleasure. We started to live together after we got married, but she objects to every sexual position I have tried with her. She said those positions are not for Christians. She is only interested in the missionary style. She said the other positions are ungodly. I don't see what makes the missionary style godly. But for peace sake, I am trying to make the relationship work. My wife does not even believe in reading a good book on lovemaking. I cannot even play with her breasts. So I am wondering what to do with this woman.

I do not know what advice you can give me. Before we got married, she told me that she would be interested in having two children. Now she has changed her mind about children, but I am still interested. So, please, tell me what to do.

B.J.

Dear B.J.,

I am glad that you were never arrested, tried or sentenced to prison for dealing with ganja. You were very fortunate.

You made money, but women have tricked you, and the one who went to the crusade with you took away all that you had. She finally took away your furniture. You should have changed the locks on the house doors. But you didn't, so she had access to everything. I do believe, however, that you are a better man today without her.

Concerning what you have written about your wife, I don't know where she got the idea that the position that is commonly called the missionary style is godly, and any other one is evil. To me, such an argument is nonsense. There are, of course, numerous people who enjoy the missionary position, but others consider it boring. That is why when people are getting married, they should do premarital counselling and discuss everything concerning sex in the relationship.

You are fortunate that she has allowed you to see her naked. Some Christians who consider themselves so holy, believe it is wrong for a woman to expose her naked self to her man. I consider these people 'dark' and foolish. I hope that you are not tempted to leave this woman to seek sexual satisfaction outside. I trust that therapy will do the trick. Seek counselling, please.

I wish you well.

Pastor