This woman cheated two weeks before our wedding

Dear Pastor,

Four years ago, I got married to a girl who I thought I was in love with. Soon after the marriage, she advised me that she had missed her period.

I asked her how could that happen so soon and she said we are doing things that will cause her to get pregnant. I told her to check it out with the doctor. She visited the doctor and told me that the doctor said she should watch it for another month. When the month had passed, she said she did not see her period. After three months, we were convinced that this girl was pregnant, but I doubted that I was responsible for her pregnancy.

I started to count the days before we got married and when we had sex. I told her that we would have to do a DNA test after the child is born. She said she would not put me under any stress because she was also checking, and she believed that it could be her former lover who got her pregnant. She confessed that two weeks before our wedding, she had unprotected sex with her former lover. I could not believe my ears.

The very night she had sex with this man, she came to my house and slept in my bed. Before I left for work, we had sex. She said I should not tell any of her relatives that she was pregnant. The man she had sex with offered her some money to abort the pregnancy, so she did. But our marriage broke up right there and then, because I considered her to be a criminal.

I did not know that I could do without a woman, but I found myself not having any desire for sex. After my wife and I broke up, it took me 16 months to date another woman. What this girl did to me was not necessary because I used to take care of her. My problem was, I was unaware that she was fooling around another man. I have moved on from my wife. I am now living with another woman. I have my divorce papers. I cannot trust women. This girl I am living with is older than I am. She knows that I don't trust women because I keep telling her that if she sees any man who she likes, she can let me know and move on.

I have one son, who is now in the police force. He and I are very close. He told me that I should not hold anything against the woman I am living with because all women are not the same. I know that, but how do I start to trust women again? Think of it, this girl had sex with a man and slept with me the same night, and we had sex before I left for work. Don't you think that women are dangerous?

S.P.

Dear S.P.,

I am glad that you have written. Your son who is in the police force has given you good advice.

You should not hold anything against the woman with whom you live just because she is woman. It is true that your wife behaved like a snake. She knew all along that you were not the person responsible for getting her pregnant. She was a wicked woman; very wicked. But I agree with your son. Don't hold anything against your present woman.

If you genuinely love her, after you have got professional counselling, marry her. I wish you well.

Pastor